My life has been changed for the better....but there has been a lot of searching even after having my dreams come true. With all the blessings of becoming a mom and caring for a little one I felt like I, Sarah, was disappearing. Sure I love being a mom, that will never change but I was not doing anything for myself. As a past CNA and caregiver, the number one rule is to care for yourself so you don't burn out and here I was breaking that very important rule. I found myself always taking a back seat and I was so confused on how to balance being a mom and Sarah at the same time....I'm sure I am not the only mom out there that struggles with this. Anyway, after 3 months from giving birth I found I couldn't survive with what I had been doing....I needed some therapy, friend therapy. I have an excellent support system with my loving Heavenly Father, my husband and family, but I have a great friend that I usually run to when I cannot seem to figure my life out and I'm to the breaking point. So I found myself running to this friend with personal struggles and not seeing a way to fix it. There have been a lot of stresses in my life and I was WAY off balance; I could not see straight. I verbally threw up at this friend and we talked A LOT, which is exactly what I needed! Finally at one point she posed a question that I have been thinking about quite a lot. In looking at the possibilities of how to balance my life, the simple question of, "What do you have to offer?" has left my mind in a whirlwind of possibilities. I often do not see myself as someone wonderful or important or that has much to offer. But when faced with that question and honestly looking at it, I have found that I do have A LOT to offer. I offer love, respect, a listening ear, laughter, music (piano, singing, violin), care, tenderness, healthcare knowledge (CNA, healthcare administration), special education knowledge, a love for the gospel of Jesus Christ, a testimony, child care knowledge, ability to learn quickly and on my own, creativity, loyalty, seeing inside an individual, teaching, learning, growing, friendship, creating, dreaming, and on and on. There is something beautiful in looking inside and seeing that you, me, I have a lot to offer. I have a lot to offer myself, my family, the world. There is only one Sarah, and therefore I need to share what I personally have to offer. This thought process has made me seriously think about starting my own business (did I say that out loud?). It's true! I am working on all the details and doing my best to fight off all the negative thoughts that come with that, but regardless if a business really takes off or not, I have a lot to offer! So watch for more posts about what I have to offer this world! And while I am doing that, I have one question to ask you.....what do YOU have to OFFER?
Now you begin to understand why women say that being a mom is the hardest job in the world! Your precious individuality becomes back burner priority. Fortunately you do have that good friend, and you also have a great understanding of the gospel. Your relationship with your Savior has barely scratched the surface of what it can/will be when you're my age. But let me assure you, you are not alone in what you feel and the journey is worth it. Turst in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he shall lead thee by the hand and give thee answers to they prayers. Love you so much.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's true. I've always heard and seen the hard work of motherhood but it is a whole new animal to experience it. Though it is hard it is very rewarding and I wouldn't change it for the world! I feel like most mother's are very self sacrificing in every sence of the word....and although that is commendable, we do need to make sure we care for ourselves. Husbands need to help wives in the adventure of taking carw of mom as she continues to be one.
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